...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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