You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
