i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
