You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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