we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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