id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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