yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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