THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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