If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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