I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
