your room smells of hookers.
And success
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
