you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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