How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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