I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We had sex on a dog bed..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
