Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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