Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
