i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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