we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
