I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
