Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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