It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
