hotel room ftw
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
