It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
