i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
