Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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