I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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