My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
