Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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