the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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