i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
no more duck duck goose at the bar
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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