Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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