am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
