He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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