i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
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Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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