Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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