I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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