Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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