How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize