just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
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you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
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I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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