You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
