How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Randomize
