Don't make out with my wife yet
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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