I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
