Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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