I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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