Your tits are I can't wait for
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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