About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
