It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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