We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
