Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
