can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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