When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It was confusing and full of hummus
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
