I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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