Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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