Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
