idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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