Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
