i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize