On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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