saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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