my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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