she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
