why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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