dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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