goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
