No stitches, just platelets and will power
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well I just put wine in my tea
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just want to make out with him forever
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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