8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize